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4×26 • Footlong Fingernails

 • 51m52s

I do let my toenails grow.

Dustin and Igor discuss fingernails, toenails, and body dysmorphia. They also review Fanboys (2009) and select Airborne (1993) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Bogdanoff twins.

4×25 • Pseudohuman

 • 56m46s

Every Chinese person knows kung fu.

Dustin and Igor discuss Micronesia, therapy, original sin. Dustin doesn't want to be put on a pedestal. They also review Big Trouble in Little China (1986) and select Fanboys (2009) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Therapy Gecko, Eliza, Henry Symeonis.

4×24 • Wise Words

 • 54m33s

Things don't bother me. It's people that bother me.

Dustin and Igor discuss more irritants and the island nation of Tuvalu. They also review Sinister (2012) and choose Big Trouble in Little China (1986) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×23 • First World Problems

 • 1h02m53s

It's not worth bleeping out 'bitch' at this point. Everybody and their mother uses it.

Dustin and Igor discuss vibration irritants, Victorian slang, and Viking food. They also review Ride Along (2014) and select Sinister (2012) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Passing English of the Victorian Era, Hákarl, Brennivín.

4×22 • Company Veganism

 • 1h05m48s

So you get your rum and coke, right in the cans.

Igor talks about his trip to North America and Dustin declines to go on a pilgrimage. They also review Trolls (2016) and select Ride Along (2014) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×21 • Rowdy Sleeper

 • 1h04m10s

What's the difference between sleeping all the time and just being dead?

Dustin and Igor discuss clothing tags, Dustin's quiet coat, irritants, cold vs hot, and sleeping. They also review Ernest Goes to Camp (1987) and choose Trolls (2016) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×20 • Cash Money

 • 54m43s

That one greek place down the road has goat brains; we're gonna go for that today.

Dustin and Igor discuss 物の哀れ, and their thresholds for sellers, products, and restaurants. They also review Old Yeller (1957) and choose Ernest Goes to Camp (1987) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: RTINGS, Chants of Sennaar.

4×19 • Cheese Ladder

 • 46m26s

Don't trust people you don't understand.

Dustin and Igor discuss Dustin's fraud finale, cheese, tapeworms, and zombies. They also review Horse Girl (2020) and select Old Yeller (1957) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Tapeworm Fry.

4×18 • White Whale

 • 1h09m20s

My date with the Indian guy and the sympathetic woman.

Dustin and Igor discuss Dustin's Valentine's Day, review North Dallas Forty (1979), and select Horse Girl (2020) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Agbogbloshie, BarbarousKing.

4×17 • Nipotism

 • 1h06m28s

You broke your nail, and you wanna hang yourself... that's not good.

Dustin and Igor discuss greetings, suicide, nepotism, and sitcoms, and also review The Soloist (2009) and select North Dallas Forty (1979) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×16 • Plastic Poisoning

 • 1h02m36s

It's a good thing I don't go outside.

Dustin and Igor discuss moving and the TikTok ban, review Bad Santa (2003), and choose The Soloist (2009) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Birds Aren't Real.

4×15 • The Real McCoy

 • 54m04s

Nothing is better than something sometimes.

Dustin and Igor discuss more Canadian inventions, review Marauders (2016), and select Bad Santa (2003) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×14 • Trump's doing what to the pope?

 • 1h07m37s

It's the Cambridge-Collins Brat Wars of 2025.

Dustin and Igor unwrap Spotify's "Wrapped for Creators", discuss more Canadian inventions, review The Princess Switch (2018), and select Marauders (2016) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Twin Dragons, The Princess Diaries.

4×13 • Light Bulb Piñatas

 • 1h03m54s

If you don't believe in Santa, at least believe in Jesus.

Dustin and Igor discuss life skills, One Piece's inspiration, and Canadian inventions. They also review 8-Bit Christmas (2021), and then select The Princess Switch (2018) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×12 • Home-Cubed Potatoes

 • 1h07m51s

Ireland would be a fantastic place because nothing sounds real there.

Dustin and Igor discuss discontinued food and discontinued world records. Then they review Beautiful Boy (2018) and choose 8-Bit Christmas (2021) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Monsieur Mangetout.

4×11 • Pretty Boomer

 • 56m43s

On everybody's shelf, there should be a dictionary and a bible.

Dustin and Igor finish the Boomer Quiz, propose a Japanese Squid Game, argue about 90s identity, review Ocean's Eleven (2001), and select Beautiful Boy (2018) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×10 • Eagle-Eyed Children

 • 1h11m17s

Your dress code should be paper and garbage bags.

Dustin and Igor discuss Discord, the upcoming election, and being a teacher. They also review Pump Up the Volume (1990) and select Ocean's Eleven (2001) for the next movie review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×9 • Oven Bomb

 • 1h02m33s

We should all be more like Snoop Dogg.

Dustin's on the mend while Igor is running on no sleep in this not-so-scary Halloween episode where Dustin confesses his love for Reba McEntire.

Dustin and Igor continue the Boomer Quiz. Igor contrasts Road House (1989) and Road House (2024). They also review Abduction (2011), and choose Pump Up the Volume (1990) as the next random movie. Lastly, Igor blocks YouTube and Reddit.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: LeechBlock.

4×8 • Armchair Murderers

 • 1h17m37s

The 14-year-old should've Weekend at Bernie's her mom with three bullet wounds in her face.

Igor tries the new Winter Edition from Red Bull. Dustin and Igor discuss facial hair, start the Boomer Quiz, and briefly add "true crime" to the podcast's list of genres.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: boombox.

4×7 • Jerks

 • 1h00m05s

What the hell happened to my belly button?

Dustin and Igor discuss clones, prions, cereal, neighbours, and Gran Torino.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×6 • Box Monkey

 • 1h01m44s

He should be dead. He's 94 years old.

Dustin and Igor discuss Igor's new phone, Life as We Know It, and Buffalo's Buffalo wings.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Aquaria.

4×5 • Time Waster

 • 1h09m34s

They do get more scared when they read. At least I feel like that's how it used to be when children used to read.

Dustin and Igor discuss the YouTube algorithm, fear, being immortalized, the fall of a nation, and Dustin's new computer. Igor also reviews I Love You, Man.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

4×4 • Pokàjo

 • 1h02m20s

Maybe all the energy drinks have turned you into some sort of a superhuman, and your power is you can smell dirty dish water.

Igor reviews his Rainboll and stops eating microplastics. Dustin sniffs his dish mat and nearly burns off his eyebrows. Then they both review Rough Night.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Pocket Card Jockey.

4×3 • House Sniffers

 • 1h18m45s

You know, there's no crack in there. It's not like you can slide your fingers in.

Dustin and Igor discuss V/H/S in the first Rogi's Random Reviews segment, await Deadpool & Wolverine, and plan to watch Rough Night. They also debate dish mats v. racks. Dustin creates a grease terrarium for his wild maggots and defends himself from a pack of pit bulls.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: movie randomizer, french fries.

4×2 • Nice Round Number

 • 1h10m02s

If Uncharted 2 becomes the biggest box office hit of the decade, I'll eat a shoe.

Dustin and Igor discuss haptic torture, learn to shuffle, and anxiously await Frog Holland in Uncharted 2.

They also begin the third Tournament of Things to decide once-and-for-all which special Pokémon has the best cry. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: WWWW on YouTube, walking AI, QWOP.

4×1 • Matryoshka Yachts

 • 1h29m45s

People are people too.

Dustin and Igor finish the second (and reveal the next) Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

Igor reviews Captain Phillips and Finding Forrester. They also discuss Dustin's quest for his local butcher and the new generation.

References: new and opposite-of-improved State Street logo, Aflac Duck, first Aflac commercial, Japanese Aflac commercial, Monster Tour Water, Monster case study.